so ive been back in London for a week, and its all going well, maybe a little too well to be honest,

ive been out far too much, drunk far too much, not gone to bed twice, been to the theatre twice, been to house partys drunk ridiculous amounts of champagne, acted inappropriately on far too many occasions, to be honest im channelling a mix between sid james and terry thomas right now, i cant tell if im on a rampage or out of control or just simply letting my hair down.

i can tell you this for nothing London is a fantastic place to be, ive missed it, ive missed my friends here, ive missed the life i had here, and i dont know if i want to go back to doha, i dont know if i can afford to stay tho either financially or career wise.

im at one of those cross roads in my life that i am really questioning what im doing and why im doing it, do i want to work in the media business, do i want to work in news, what do i want in the long term?

some conclusions ive made, im not getting any younger, im not getting any happier in doha, i want to find someone and settle down with.

one thing these days have illustrated is how alone i am in doha, i have beautiful friends in doha but no one im going to change the world for, no one im going to change the world with.

whats a boy to do?

back in London, 4 days on, 6 parties and a full day in the pub, theatre & a hang over the size of western Europe, a new sport invented and having fallen asleep on the circle line later, i think im back.

a beautiful collection of late comunist era photos

I dont know what it is but there beautiful, so stark and yet so emotive of what must surley have been a troubled time


http://davidhlynsky.com/windowshoppages/pro_1IHaveBeenSupressed.html

Just started my new occasional blog looking at the spooky world of clebrity grills

http://celebritygrill.blogspot.com/

A Pair Of Jackets & Kevlar Helmets about to go to the programes dept

office body armour watch

i heard this quote just over a year ago, and i have to say im now a firm beleiver

'"People move through their lives sometimes without really thinking about where they're going. The days pile up, and they get sadder and lonelier, without really knowing how they got so sad, or why they're so lonely. Then something happens... they meet someone who looks a certain way, or has something in their smile. Maybe that's all that falling in love is. Finding someone who makes you feel a little less alone."
'

Is it wrong that I live for the day I will leave this god forsaken country, this god forsaken channel, this god forsaken network, I nearly resigned today for the 3rd time, but got talked down for the third time by managers that I trust, with the same old line don’t worry it will get better.

It hasn’t but why do I always fall for the same old line?

a great micro documentry about the history of the 'amen' break and the resulting subcultures of Hiphop & dance music

a quick note - on my ongoing research on narrative betrayl as a literary concept - this story peaked my interest, one of those crazy as batshit only on the internet type stories -

that of Jenna St James - Internet Faker and fraudster - having duped a poor woman into a 2 year relationship

http://www.laweekly.com/news/news/the-life-and-death-of-jesse-james/17427/

http://pieceofcakey.blogspot.com/

Part 2 of the easter european opus is up

on run-riot.com - go read it - its good, its by me!

belleruche news

my very good friend got reviewed in the london metro today

"BELLERUCHE
Soul-infused funk with a smattering of hip hop from this ultra-cool trio..."

so frikkin cool!!!

Part 2 of the opus is up:

Serbia, Novisad, the Exit Festival

http://www.run-riot.com/node/702

Everything is hard to do including leaving permanatly - this comes from a dear friend of mine

When it’s time to go – here’s a brief overview of some of the things you’ll need to be aware of.

- BEFORE you resign

– if you have any credit cards you can do without, cancel them. (this affects the freezing of your bank account)
- IF you have a pet to take home, find out all the details of what you need to do to organize their stuff
- If you have a bank loan for your car, try and sell to clear the debt (bank will freeze your account to the value of all potential liabilities, including credit cards)
- You will need a letter from the bank for the Transfer of your car (to say you don’t owe any money on it)
- You will need a letter from yourself to give to the Insurance company saying you have no objection to selling the car (go figure!!)

Resignation
- Send your resignation to your line manager and the HR department
- Make sure you get confirmation of receipt from HR (they lost mine)
- Get a copy of the ‘Clearance’ form
- You will need a letter from the bank stating that you have no liabilities, so that AJE can make the final payment
- Do a rough calculation of what is owed to you including:

Pension – one month’s pay per year, pro rata
Leave – any unused leave, pro rata
Flights – value of any unused flights (pro rata, Jan-Dec)
Medicals – any reimbursements not yet paid


The clearance form - requires 7 signatures.

About a month before you are leaving, it’s good to chat with HR (Jad) and go through the form. He will tell you who needs to sign each section of the form, for each department. For example, in Finance, see Carol who will check all items and then Yasser will sign. He suggests that the form is completed a week before leaving the company, although some sections cannot be signed off. Your Residence permit needs to be cancelled by external affairs (Saeed) but cannot be done LESS than 7 days before you leave the country, otherwise a penalty is charged if it is cancelled too early.

The following is an exerpt from an email Debs sent me after she had gone, about a week before I was leaving:

Go to Al Saad branch of Qtel pay your last bill then go to Customer services and ask to have your account closed and a confirmation letter. (you will need copies of your id card, employee card and passport to order the letter which takes 24hours) They will take your money and have the letter ready the next day. AS for electricity - I couldn't even pay my last bill because it hadn't been issued - they don't have a system for taking meter readings - I printed the latest account off the internet - showing zero balance and gave them the bill. As long as you've closed your credit cards and internet banking card and have paid off your car loan then getting the clearance letter from your bank should only take one day.

You want to have HR and Admin sign off on your form so they can start processing your final payment. I guess from today you should; close Qtelpay water/elec and get zero bill

make Telal from IT sign your form and arrange for him to close your account from the date you leave

Get your bank account closed (take all of your cash out) and get your clearance letter.

Get Fareed to sign your Admin (need Qtel & Water bills for that)

Then Get HR to sign it off - you will need your bank clearance letter.
Get Carol Hinz in finance to sign off - she will be the one to query the school fees and agree final settlement.
Then Finance can start to process your final payment cheque. Try and get all of this done by the end of the week and then email Carol and Jad in saying that all of the paperwork is completed and you'd like to be able to pick up your final settlement cheque on Wednesday.

Speak to Nasser about your exit visas - they will probably take all of your passports to have the residency cancelled. By 1400 on Weds you should have your cheque and passports

Claps hands in glee - rabbit sent me postcard! - looks like i may be falling a rabbit hole over the next few weeks

http://www.apostcardfromrabbit.wordpress.com/

Back at work on my new 60hr working week - hmm less said the better

just finished part two of the eastern european opus - 3,500 words - up on run-riot in the next week or so

part one of the opus is up on run riot http://www.run-riot.com/HeapInEasternEuropePartOne

2000 word part 1 of a 3 part epic monster

>As afternoon turned into night and we were enjoying far to many frosty cold Croatian beers, we made our way to the main stage to see Crazy P play, and in the middle of the dance floor we found a permanent paddling pool built into the dance floor itself. The main stage wound up at midnight, and we found ourselves dancing in the nightclub till dawn to the sounds of the Faith crew, with Stewart Patterson and Terry Farley representing.

part one of the opus is up on run riot http://www.run-riot.com/HeapInEasternEuropePartOne

2000 word part 1 of a 3 part epic monster

>As afternoon turned into night and we were enjoying far to many frosty cold Croatian beers, we made our way to the main stage to see Crazy P play, and in the middle of the dance floor we found a permanent paddling pool built into the dance floor itself. The main stage wound up at midnight, and we found ourselves dancing in the nightclub till dawn to the sounds of the Faith crew, with Stewart Patterson and Terry Farley representing.

"A human being should be able to change a diaper,
plan an invasion,
butcher a hog,
conn a ship,
design a building,
write a sonnet,
balance accounts,
build a wall,
set a bone,
comfort the dying,
take orders,
give orders,
cooperate,
act alone,
solve equations,
analyze a new problem,
pitch manure,
program a computer,
cook a tasty meal,
fight efficiently and die gallantly.

...
Specialization is for insects."

- Robert A Heinlein

more bizarre music

J-Hop/J-tronic duo mashing it up fat beat stylee, i like the animation too~1!

another hyper bizarre music taste from me - bollywood ragga in polish!

Latest installment in office body armour: Kevlar with plates, and balistic helmet perched on chair

the worlds first interactive film is back in prague: Kinoautomat

a hit as Czechoslovakia's entry at the 1967 Expo - before the country's communist authorities effectively killed it off. Now however, four decades later, it has been revived in Prague.

http://www.radio.cz/en/article/92388

Long-time no post - for this i must apologise dear reader - i have been hectic in the work arena for too long - boss & boss's boss have departed so the volume of bureaucracy has increased exponentially - notable things to happen recently

1) Ramadan has started - which makes many things impossible to do, all alcohol vending has stopped for a month - so that means my personal stash of alcohol has been built up to nearly siege type proportions - at the moment i have 22 litres of wine, 6 bottles of vodka 6 of scotch, a bottle of vermouth - i hope i should get through the next 3 weeks.

2) the weather has cooled down - its down to low forties at midday so normal life is re-occuring - without sprinting from AC'd place to the next.

3) Diet & fitness plans are progressing - have lost 3 stone and i think i have another 2 to go.

4) hosted a great leaving party for my boss last wed prior to ramadan

5) continuing to blog on run-riot

more soon

.M.

I have a feeling autum is in the air

there was a slight nip in the air last night, i say nip i dont mean it was cold, its not so hot as soon as you walk out the door you break into an immediate sweat, your glasses steam up. it was a very pleasent 35 degrees at about 3.30am, the first time ive been in the pool for a number of months

Ive been very moved recently by this blog, very very painful writing, Pended by a young anonamous sex worker.


on talking about working life - "Painful like being fat growing up and having people yell lardass at you out car windows and strangers approaching you on the street to tell you to lose weight. Painful like being a 13-year-old girl saving her virginity for marriage and being held down and robbed of that. I am embarrassed to talk about my pain, about the times I have been hurt. Especially when the road there was tricky and circuitous and partially of my own design. It’s hard for me to sift through the detritus, much easier to poke fun, to glam it up, to be some badass character."

lHey Guys - sorry i havent written for a while - ive just been caught up in other things, two posts come to mind

Ive become nearly obsessed with a new internet video podcast, The midwest teen sex show - this thing is funny man - think chris morris of the internet generation, dry whitty good fun and always about my favourite topic - however posibly NSFW because of subject matter rather than content.

The episodes are parodies of those awfully hip school sex-ed videos, each one on a theem - Female masterbation, Dating older boys, Birthcontrol etc. etc.

none of it should be taken seriously

Hmm - this is sounding familiar

NEW TP POOL REGULATIONS
I've been asked to distribute the new regulations regarding office pool displays. The enclosed memo is a new subchapter of the EBGOC Procedure Manual, replacing the old subchapter entitled PHYSICAL PLANT/CALIFORNIA/LOS ANGELES/BUILDINGS/OFFICE AREAS/PHYSICAL LAYOUT REGULATIONS/EMPLOYEE INPUT/GROUP ACTIVITIES.
The old subchapter was a flat prohibition on the use of office space or time for "pool" activities of any kind whether permanent (e.g., coffee pool) or one-time (e.g., birthday parties).

This prohibition still applies, but a single, one-time exception has now been made for any office that wishes to pursue a joint bathroom-tissue strategy.

By way of introduction, let me just make a few general comments on this subject. The problem of distributing bathroom tissue to workers presents inherent challenges for any office management system due to the inherent unpredictability of usage - not every facility usage transaction necessitates the use of bathroom tissue, and when it is used, the amount needed (number of squares) may vary quite widely from person to person and, for a given person, from one transaction to the next.

This does not even take into account the occasional use of bathroom tissue for unpredictable/creative purposes such as applying/removing cosmetics, beverage-spill management, etc. For this reason, rather than trying to package bathroom tissue in small one-transaction packets (as is done with premoistened towelettes, for example), which can be wasteful in some cases and limiting in other cases, it has been traditional to package this product in bulk distribution units whose size exceeds the maximum amount of squares that an individual could conceivably use in a single transaction (barring force majeure). This reduces to a minimum the number of transactions in which the distribution unit is depleted (the roll runs out) during the transaction, a situation that can lead to emotional stress for the affected employee. However, it does present the manager with some challenges in that the distribution unit is rather bulky and must be repeatedly used by a number of different individuals if it is not to be wasted.

Since the implementation of Phase XVII of the Austerity Program, employees have been allowed to bring their own bathroom tissue from home. This approach is somewhat bulky and redundant, as every worker usually brings their own roll.

Some offices have attempted to meet this challenge by instituting bathroom-tissue pools.
Without overgeneralizing, it may stated that and inherent and irreducible feature of any bathroom-tissue pool implemented at the office level, in an environment (i.e., building) in which comfort stations are distributed on a per-floor basis (i.e., in which several offices share a single facility) is that provision must be made within the confines of the individual office for temporary stationing of bathroom tissue distribution units (i.e., rolls). This follows the fact the if the BTDUs (rolls) are stationed, while inactive, outside the purview of the controlling office (i.e., the office that has collectively purchased the BTDU)

- that is, if the BTDUs are stored, for example, in a lobby area or within the facility in which they are actually utilized, they will be subject to pilferage and "shrinkage" as unauthorized persons consume them, either as part of a conscious effort to pilfer or out of an honest misunderstanding, i.e., a belief that the BTDUs are being provided free of charge by the operating agency (in this case the United States Government), or as the result of necessity, as in the case of a beverage spill that is encroaching on sensitive electronic equipment and whose management will thus brook no delay. This fact has led certain offices (which shall go unnamed - you know who you are, guys) to establish makeshift BTDU depots that also serve as pool-contribution collection points. Usually, these depts take the form of a table, near the door closest to the facility, on which the BTDUs are stacked or otherwise deployed, with a bowl or some other receptacle in which participants may place their contributions, and typically with a sign or other attention-getting device (such as a stuffed animal or cartoon) requesting donations. A quick glance at the current regulations will show that placement of such a display/depot violates the procedure manual. However, in the interests employee hygiene, morale, and group spirit-building, my higher-ups have agreed to make a one-time exception in the regulations for this purpose.

As with any part of the procedure manual, new or old, it is your responsibility to be thoroughly familiar with this material. Estimated reading time for this document is 15.62 minutes (and don't think we won't check). Please make note of the major points made in this document, as follows:

1) BTDU depot/displays are now allowed, on a trial basis, with the new policy to be reviewed in six months.

2) These must be operated on a voluntary, pool-type basis, as described in the subchapter on employee pools. (Note: This means keeping books and tallying all financial transactions.)

3) BTDUs must be brought in by the employees (not shipped through the mailroom) and are subject to all the usual search-and-seizure regulations.

4) Scented BTDUs are prohibited as they may cause allergic reactions, wheezing, etc. in some persons.

5) Cash pool donations, as with all monetary transactions within the U.S. Government, must use official U.S. currency

Naturally, this will lead to a bulk problem if people try to use the donation bucket as a dumping ground for bundles of old billion- and trillion-dollar bills. The Buildings and Grounds people are worried about waste-disposal problems and the potential fire hazard that may ensue if large piles of billions and trillions begin to mount up. Therefore, a key feature of the new regulation is that the donation bucket must be emptied every day - more often if an excessive build-up situation is seen to develop.

In this vein, the B & G people would also like me to point out that many of you who have excess U.S. currency to get rid of have been trying to kill two birds with one stone by using old billions as bathroom tissue. While creative, this approach has two drawbacks:

1) It clogs the plumbing, and

2) It constitues defacement of U.S. currency, which is a federal crime.

DON'T DO IT.

Join your local office bathroom-tissue pool instead. It's easy, it's hygienic, and it's legal.

Happy pooling!

On Being Shot - by George Orwell

The whole experience of being hit by a bullet is very interesting and I think it is worth describing in detail.

It was at the corner of the parapet, at five o'clock in the morning. This was always a dangerous time, because we had the dawn at our backs, and if you stuck your head above the parapet it was clearly outlined against the sky. I was talking to the sentries preparatory to changing the guard. Suddenly, in the very middle of saying something, I felt -- it is very hard to describe what I felt, though I remember it with the utmost vividness.

Roughly speaking it was the sensation of being at the center of an explosion. There seemed to be a loud bang and a blinding flash of light all around me, and I felt a tremendous shock - no pain, only a violent shock, such as you get from an electric terminal; with it a sense of utter weakness, a feeling of being stricken and shriveled up to nothing. The sandbags in front of me receded into immense distance. I fancy you would feel much the same if you were struck by lightning. I knew immediately that I was hit, but because of the seeming bang and flash I thought it was a rifle nearby that had gone off accidentally and shot me. All this happened in a space of time much less than a second. The next moment my knees crumpled up and I was falling, my head hitting the ground with a violent bang which, to my relief, did not hurt. I had a numb, dazed feeling, a consciousness of being very badly hurt, but no pain in the ordinary sense.
The American sentry I had been talking to had started forward. 'Gosh! Are you hit!' People gathered round. There was the usual fuss - 'Lift him up! Where's he hit? Get his shirt open!' etc., etc. The American called for a knife to cut my shirt open. I knew that there was one in my pocket and tried to get it open, but discovered that my right arm was paralyzed. Not being in pain, I felt a vague satisfaction. This ought to please my wife, I thought; she had always wanted me to be wounded, which would save me from being killed when the great battle came. It was only now that it occurred to me to wonder where I was hit, and how badly; I could feel nothing, but I was conscious that the bullet had struck me somewhere in the front of my body. When I tried to speak I found that I had no voice, only a faint squeak, but at the second attempt I managed to ask where I was hit. In the throat, they said, Harry Webb, our stretcher-bearer, had brought a bandage and one of the little bottles they gave us for field-dressings. As they lifted me up a lot of blood poured out of my mouth, and I heard a Spaniard behind me say that the bullet had gone clear through my neck. I felt the alcohol, which at ordinary times would sting like the devil, splash on the wound as a pleasant coolness.

They laid me down again while somebody fetched a stretcher. As soon as I knew that the bullet had gone clean through my neck I took it for granted I was done for. I had never heard of a man an animal getting a bullet through the middle of the neck and surviving it. The blood was dribbling out of the corner of my mouth. "The artery's gone," I thought. I wondered how long you last when your carotid artery is cut; not many minutes, presumably. Everything was very blurry. There must have been about two minutes during which I assumed I was killed. And that too was interesting -- I mean it is interesting to know what your thoughts would be at such a time. My first thought, conventionally enough, was for my wife. My second was violent resentment at having to leave this world which, when all is said and done, s me so well. I had time to feel this very vividly. The stupid mischance infuriated me. The meaninglessness of it! To be bumped off, not even in battle, but in this stale corner of the trenches, thanks to a moment's carelessness! I thought, too, of the man who had shot me -- wondered what he was like, whether he was a Spaniard or foreigner, whether he knew he had got me, and so forth. I could not feel any resentment against him. I reflected that as he was a Fascist I would have killed him if I could, but that if he had been taken prisioner and brought before me at this moment I would merely have congratulated him on his good shooting. It may be, though, that if you were really dying your thoughts would be quite different.

They had just got me on to the stretcher when my paralyzed right arm came to life and began hurting damnably. At the time I imagined that I must have broken it in falling; but the pain reassured me, for I knew that your sensations do not become more acute when you are dying. I began to feel more normal and to be sorry for the four poor devils who were sweating and slithering with the stretcher on their shoulders. It was a mile and a half to the ambulance, and vile going, over lumpy, slippery tracks. I knew what a sweat it was, having helped to carry a wounded man down a day or two earlier. The leaves of the silver poplars which, in places, finger our trenches brushed against my face; I thought what a good thing it was to be alive in a world where silver poplars grow. But all the while the pain in my arm was diabolical, making me swear and then try not to swear, because every time I breathed too hard the blood bubbled out of my mouth.

Well ive been asked to become a contributing editor/blogger of the run-riot cultural web page

it describes itself as:

"free eclectic listing of counter culture events in London from the worlds of theatre, music, clubs, art and performance, Run-Riot takes you from the edge to the heart"

I intend to write extended peices about my life in doha and beyond, describing my so-called life, from the sublime to the redicioulous.

Run Riot blog

A Typical Friday Moring

Im having a great morning this morning listening to the beta band and reading brian woods book demo - supping on a great single scource Rift Valley coffee

yesterday was great - think im 90% of the way to fixing my bricked wifi router - it did involve some scary parts including earthing out pin9 on the Eprom then rewriting the firmware with X-WRT

X-WRT is an open scource Graphical interface for OpenWRT - a fairly hardcore openscource instalation of unix for low level routers - which should give me access to a lot more of the routers functionality like Qos shaping in addition i can bump the strength of the radio signal to about 40mw from its measly 20mw which should make trying to get through the kryptonite walls a little easier.

Inshalla i can also get the router working as a Itunes server & reading an external unix USB Hdd (formatted as samba2)

Now i have the software running and functional with both the mac and the pony adsl router that qtel installed - i just have to work out how to write the final version to the Eprom.

anyway think its going to be a quiet techy day to day - may watch a film or two today - i have 300 & the lookout to lookforward to.

an excellent essay on two films i recently had the up most pleasure in discovering - Before Sunrise & Before Sunset - i had the pleasure of watching them on 2 sequential nights.

1: in bed in a bad hotel in Novisad in Serbia,
2: in a 2nd class compartment crossing the border into Romania

Beautiful calm cinema, for silly romantics like me

for those who have seen the films, you know there some of the best works to be committed to celluloid

a couple of videos of the garden party in zadar have popped up on youtube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zw_sSqhh3ms

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HFR8-8B-zg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDcg_2BZrU0

well im going to write a little bit now as i havnt updated the blog for a while, ive been back in doha a little longer than a week, and every thing is the same, its a little hotter – 55 today with 90% humidity the sand is still here, but a lot of people have left for the summer holidays, so the early morning commute isnt as bad and the driving on the road is a lot better.

Its an up hill struggle through to the end of October now – the heat of august, ramadan and eid are taking over September and October so things are going to be slow, with the imminent departure of my head of section and the departure of my boss things at work are going to become difficult at work for a while too until long term replacements are found.

Ive also decided to keep my head down for the time being and focus on 'me' stuff – im not going to be out and about as much as i was as i have a couple of personal projects that i need to get on top of. i also need to decide what i want to do with my future – as i have said to people before, i dont have much out here apart from my career and half a dozen great friends, also ive decided to continue the diet and try and take another 2 stone off – if i can get down to the weight i was at 17 i will be over the moon, i also need to try and get 'fit'.

Sorry I haven’t written sooner – yes im back – but I got hit with a dose of food poisoning on my return to Doha, so spent two days doubled up in pain, two nights of psychedelic dreams (the ones you get with bad) about trying to smuggle laser defense systems out of Russia via train.

Suffice to say the trip was fantastic, just what I needed – an escape from Doha – back to normality - well as normal as a 3 week trip to the ex-soviet block can be.

Croatia was stunning – thanks to eddie and gail for the party and the inspiration

Serbia and exit – were – well massive – I have never seen 50,000 people go off so hard as they did when prodigy played ‘out of space’

Mum and dad seem to be settling down without me again – I think there enjoying Romania – the transition of Romania into Europe seems to be fascinating – Romania is changing and changing fast.

finaly home after a beautiful 3 weeks in the sun, will blog more after ive slept

Well im loving this blog http://www.threadbared.com/

Razor sharp piss taking comentry on old sewing & knitting patterns

Booo Ya! - "cautious" hope that a cure for AIDS could be found within 10 years. with new german ligase technique!

http://www.dw-world.de/dw/article/0,2144,2648728,00.html

well im taking a much needed break from doha > persue my eastern european adventure here

http://gardenexit.blogspot.com/

i will mostly be taking photos like this

and like this

I havent laughed this hard for years! click the picture for the whole book - its stunning

beautiful afternoon with Sarah at the intercontinental, lunch and sun - just what was required for current malaise

not sure whats up this evening - going to stay in and not drink booze.

http://dmiessler.com/archives/1321/

Most guys know about the nice guy paradox. It’s where they’ve been told since they were young — both by women and by society in general — that women like “nice” guys. And because they’ve been told this over and over, most guys grow up trying this approach only to have reality pee in their faces.

that pretty much sums up my mood at the moment

Safari party

"This phrase doesn't appear on Google."

what i miss about london

in a picture of my friends

had a 20 min conversation with K. lastnight cheered me up a bit, her summer of touting is starting - what a massive summer - more details on the DJ Vandim, Bonobo's & Belleruche websites.

woo go Kathrin

wire of the week

Vatican-pope-Columbian-Philipines-kidnap

Im Lonely, so lonely, I miss some one to hug, some one soft, i miss some one to wake up next to, to discuss things with, some one to share a private smile with, some one to share a secret laugh with, a flirtive glance, i knew being out here would be hard, but never this hard, im isolated out here, no one to share my feelings with or the inner me with.

The fleeting moments of intimacy i have are staid, mechanical a bodily function nothing more, i miss companionship, that genuine sense of being something more than 'me' and my professional daily routine.

I suppose if i intelectualise it, it will make me stronger harder, more rigerous, more defined professionally but at what price, every day im here, i become more in a work sense i become stronger in a work sense, but every day i become less as a person, as a man as me, i become distant from those i truly love, there is only so much weekly phone calls can do for me or the ones i love, how do i deal with it? I have friends here, but that's it. I have no one i truly love.

I live day by day, mostly for work, i have few 'distractions' the occasional nights out, a beer with the boys or the occasional OSA gathering, for these im glad a welcome distraction from the otherwise bleak life i live. For example tonight ive had a lovely evening with my dear friend Lisa in a 5 star hotel. We mentioned in the cab a small club playing nasty techno is what we needed – not here – so here i am at 2am hammering out words on my keyboard in the one of the only releases i have hammering out my feelings to you dear reader.

My routine is

wake up have a shower, cup of coffee with the BBC podcast of the day, drive into work in air-conditioned car, walk across parking lot, get to office do some routine bullsh*t all day, trip over same hurdles that have been there since day one, possibly have lunch in the cafeteria on my own if i can stomach something from their hideous food line up, finish routine bullsh*t for the day, go home in said air-conditioned car, cook dinner, watch a film or listen to music for an hour or so. Go to bed, getup rinse & repeat for 3 more days if = overtime then repeat previous if=not then wake up late shower, coffee & BBC pod cast, clean house, go to A/C'd mall buy food, watch film then go to bed.
Occasional Var = replace watch film with have drinks out.

For those 'blue' readers out there you will get this when i say my life is about crying and masturbation – for those not acquainted with the rather 'in' meme – its a slagging off phrase that 'we developed' that is a kind of laughing self mocking insult to those who are not doing anything on any particular night.

There is some thing to be said about living for tomorow, but when tomorrow comes and its exactly the same as yesterday.

Right now im listening to a pressure drop remixed version of 8th wonder by sugerhill gang the last time i played this track was 9 months ago to about 300 people in the bigchill house who were going for it. What has my life become – i could rock a crowd of people in a jovial social atmosphere packed with friends. Not here.

There is nothing here it is bleak like the desert i only wish it was as hot.

today i have acted as

media manager
Honcho for the aquired citizen media project
Lieason for off site technical staff/crisis manager for a problem in 2 areas neither of which i have anything to do with

ive had technical meetings over server space
ive had running meetings over aformentioned tech issues
ive had meetings over documents ive written for citizen media project documentation
ive built feeds,
FTP'd things
written reports on above technical issues


and i even voiced the president of the chilean football team

enough ive been here for 13hrs im going to bed so i can get up and do it all again tomorow

Is it appalling that it took a massive crisis at work to make me feel alive?

Its all swings and roundabouts I suppose but at the moment I feel dead inside, all I have literally seen for the last few days (10) is the inside of my house, my laptop, the inside of my car, the European family club for Andy’s leaving bash (yes Mr Semple you will be missed) and the 4 seasons bar and the office. 2 days off in the last 10, and by wed. I will have been at work for the best part of 113 hours working either at work or at home.

The sad thing is work in all its tedium is the only thing that keeps me entertained. There is nothing to do otherwise; it is searingly hot during the day (52 today) and in the mid40s at night with high humidity so going outside these days is a virtual impossibility. The vast air-conditioned malls provide me with little entertainment, bling glitz and shopping don’t do it for me, the current crop of movies that are out at the moment massively disappoint.

Box office faves are as follows:

Pirates of the Caribbean 3
Shrek 3
Spideman 3
Bug

None of which even vaguely interested me the first time round, so this is the first round of summer fayer its destined to get worse

The Memory of THUNDERBIRD : very funny memory of someone who has obviously had the same experience of white cider as virtualy every other uk teenager : thanks to mavis for the link

They just won't let your childhood be, will they? Nigel Planer murdered the Magic Roundabout, "Chopper" isn't just a bike, apparently it's a helicopter, and now they've just killed Thunderbird. Oh, it's still there. But they've killed it.
It was 1988, and I was 14 when I first met Thunderbird. I started on the Blue, of course. Didn't we all? At £3.49 I could also stretch to a Marathon and a quarter of Kola Cubes. And I was happy with my Blue Thunderbird; we spent time in the park together, sometimes went to see some friends.

But after a couple of weeks the cheeky red number caught my eye. An enigmatic minx, whispering promises of dreams I had forgotten how to dream. It jeered as I bought its cheaper cousin. I was piqued. Why was it over a pound more expensive? I decided to forego the Marathon that wintry night, and cantered off to the park with a new darling.

The difference is simple; 17.5% as opposed to 13.5%. Only 4% - but it made a marked difference to my behaviour.

In conversation....
BLUE : I talked more than usual.
RED : I gave away military secrets. In behaviour....

BLUE : Became well-disposed to strangers.
RED : Became strangely-disposed to wells. And in belief....

BLUE : Got happy and thought I was funny.
RED : Got happy and became a treehouse, insisting that people climb up my leg and store their nuts in my armpits.

Mournfully, Blue Thunderbird is now 13.1% - possibly to placate an army of parents who should be encouraging their children to drink alcohol. And of course, they've got Peach Thunder, Berry Thunder and Cola Thunder. I find it difficult to sleep at night, knowing they are out there..
Take me back to the paradise city.. please.

Traffic Jam on way to AlJazeera

p

Arabic sign reading city center straight on, al wakrah C ring road & Salwa (Saudai) Rd Right

a little building work going on in doha

Now for the sponsor of the week CHUNXIAO:

Not only classicQuality, but who could be as fashionable as Sherlock Holmes, All from buying a pair of Socks.

Personaly - i buy my juice at the fantasy juice stall - tonight i fancy a mango s&m or posibly a three some of Orange, Pinaple & Strawbery

oh dear pirate bay have done it again - there is now coffee on my monitor

Who Am I?

After nearly 300 posts I thought I would write a little about myself.

I am Michael Heap, 26 years old, I’m Canadian by birth, British & Canadian by nationality; I was born of my parents Peter & Maureen Heap (Respectively a Mining/process Engineer & Teacher/Artist)

Who in turn hail from British, Dutch, Irish & Algerian ancestry, My Dutch lineage can be traced back to the heugenaut exodus from France. There are tales of Pirates and Spies, of Sea Captains & Just a little trace of ancient mystery. My family means a lot to me.

I was/am an expatriate child, spending much of my childhood in exotic far flung places from Ghana to West Australia (Co-incidentally where I finished high school) with my parents work.

My Degree Is a BSC MBio (Molecular Biology) from the university of Portsmouth, I am an artist & a technician working in the TV business but this far from defines me, I co-founded a successful London club night, I have a ridiculous interest in Egyptology especially in the rise of the ptolomies & the fall of Egypt. I am a cinephile, a gastronome extraordinaire; when I live in London I have a place on the South Bank in London.

At the moment I live in Doha Qatar, and work for Aljazeera English as a Media Manager. I spend my time off in a variety ways, sadly none of them nefariously, most of which involve my passions of entertaining people, sometimes with screenings of obscure films sometimes cooking up a storm.

Im having this feeling at the moment, after rewriting the firmware on Asus 500gP - hardware wise an excelent router - shame about the crappy unix O/S and interface, However i spent most of lastnight wrestling with OpenWRT & X-WRT & Writing a custom compiled O/S.

God I wish i had this problem

John Terrett leaves Doha

Someone i consider a friend is leaving Doha for DC then NYC, John its been an honour and a pleasure working with you, in your time in Doha you have been a consummate pleasure to work with, you will be missed from our little world. I do hope we stay in contact.

all the best JTE

.M.

morris the studio cat

just a quick post, to say that not much is happening here at the moment, so not much to report, heading out tomorow to go exploring posibly more abandoned houses. a couple of peeps coming over to mine tonight to watch good night and good luck & the day the earth caught fire.

this email came from a dear friend of mine> also a friend of rabbit,
if your in london and into alternative theatre or ARGs suggest you go


I am working with Coney at the NT Studio for a week
from 4-8 June to develop an idea based on an existing
story. We’d rather not tell you what our source-text
is now so as not to spoil any exciting surprises. But
the working title for the project is A Small Town
Anywhere. What we can tell you is that there are no
performers, only a playing audience. And we would love
it if you could come down to the NT Studio for playing
slots throughout our week.

Think of it as an experiment to play a game that tells
a story. One of the games we’ve been scratching
towards this slot is based on the party game Mafia
(http://tinyurl.com/eccbf) so if you’ve ever enjoyed
playing that we’re sure you’ll enjoy this. You’re not
forced to 'perform', all we ask is that you are open
to playing as much as you want to.

Our playing slots will be Tuesday to Friday lunchtime
(c. 12.45) and late afternoon (c. 4.15), for a maximum
duration of one hour apart from the slots on the
Friday which may run to 90 minutes. You’re welcome to
come and play more than once, although in that case
we’d ask if one of those times could be a
lunchtime/earlier in the week when we're more likely
to be trying out individual components rather than the
whole.

We’d love to hear about your experience of playing
afterwards too.

It’s free to come and play. Hopefully there’ll be tea
and biscuits. If you’re interested in coming, then
please contact the smalltowncrier@googlemail.com

The NT Studio is on a site 2 minutes walk from Oval
Tube. The smalltowncrier will send you a map.

A Small Town Anywhere by Coney developing at the
National Theatre Studio, after initial play-testing at
BAC, the Shunt Lounge and Hide + Seek. Coney are
supported artists at BAC.

abandoned house pictures

a couple of amusing products from here in doha

Im kind of sad & wound up that i missed this

the guardian review is fantastic. its right up my alley

"I've spent the weekend playing "pervasive games". When you explain it in the pub, your friends will look deeply unconvinced or froth with bile about devised theatre and geekery.
Yet such games have been spreading for a while. And there are all kinds of theories behind tem, be they flashmobs, freerunning or games of kick-the-can that encompass a city."

I'm unconvinced that Pervasive gaming is the same as ARG, they may be sub genre of a strand but they're of the same thing.

I see ARG in the same genre as LARP - a kind of fantasy world you immerse yourself in, the puzzles lay on top to make it fun where as Pervasive gaming i see as the fun of the adventure and puzzles are inherent in that.

i do see a emergent trend of Urbanites developing ways to 'play' in their city, be it a new form of urban letter boxing or other - its a entertainment a distraction from our increasingly serious and dull everyday lives, one that doesn't encompass watching television or being washed in the glowing light of epilepsy inducing video games that is consuming the young. however i do believe it springs partly from computer gaming (or at least RPG) it appeals to the non sporting types the geeks and the nerds, but those ones with social savvy.

it also springs from theatre (at least fringe theatre) the need to experience a consensual hallucination in the presence of others, there have been some fascinating developments in the theatrical world of London that i have been privy to in the last few years Shunt & Punchdrunk's have been gaining massive audiences in recent years. PD'sfaust has been the talk of london in recent months.

Other parts of the art world are seeing parts of this change too - sculpture for example Gregor Schneider's excellent work dead House & die familie Schnider - the latter of which i was lucky enough to encounter in whitechapel a couple of years ago.

i know a lot of people have been going on about "hybrid media", "creole media" or the "metamedium", and to paraphrase i think this stuff is hybrid Entertainment, creole entertainment or metatheatre - something thats merging and fusing two areas of interest.

shame im halfway around the world because this stuff is rocking my world - if secondhand

another piece about family - Jeremy Wolfenden

Familiar to those of you who have read Sebastian fawlks the fatal Englishmen

Jeremy was my mothers cousin(Martina's) husband, My sister is named after this Martina

they say all family's have secrets - Its a matter of fact that Jeremy was a double agent for MI6 working under the KGB, All whilst working for the telegraph in Moscow. I and the family still consider he was murdered by the KGB for much the same reason that Georgie Markov was

Well after 8 months i now have internet at home - slow and expensive - but thats doha

also means i have skype at home now >> those of you who physicaly know me - search my Gmail address and lets chat!

just a quick one to say im now off for 4 days, has been a hell of a couple of days, hopefully getting interent at home on tuesday so inshalla i can blog from home rather than a web cafe or at work.

on the down side im waking up at 6am with the light, so am looking like an inverted panda at the moment, waking up at 6am getting home at 12.30-1am - not good, so im going shopping for blackout curtains tomorow

Wire of the week: Stoned cop calls 911 fearing overdose on pot

http://www.courttv.com/news/2007/0510/pot_ap.html

MP3 of said call

Videos on the impact of emerging technologies from Scifi - gastroporn!

http://www.technologyreview.com/player/video